The ten best Ashes sledges

1. Mark Waugh to Jimmy Ormond on his Test debut, 2001: "Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England."
   Ormond: "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my own family."


2. Merv Hughes to Graeme Hick et al: "Mate, if you just turn the bat over you'll find the instructions on the other side."


3. Hughes again: "Does your husband play cricket as well?"


4. Mike Atherton, on Merv Hughes: "I couldn't work out what he was saying, except that every sledge ended with 'arsewipe'."


5. Dennis Lillee to Mike Gatting: "Hell, Gatt, move out of the way. I can't see the stumps."


6. Derek Randall to Lillee, after taking a glancing blow to the head: "No good hitting me there, mate, nothing to damage."


7. Ian Healy, placing a fielder yards away at cover when Nasser Hussain was batting: "Let's have you right under Nasser's nose."


8. Tony Greig, England's South African-born captain, to the young David Hookes, 1977: "When are your balls going to drop, Sonny?"
   Hookes: "I don't know, but at least I'm playing cricket for my own country." Hookes hit Greig for five consecutive fours.


9. Rod Marsh, late Seventies: "How's your wife and my kids?"
   Ian Botham: "The wife's fine - the kids are retarded."


10. Bill Woodfull, Australia's captain in the Bodyline series of 1932-33, responding to Douglas Jardine's complaint that a slip fielder had sworn at him: "All right, which one of you bastards called this bastard a bastard?"

[via Mike on Cricket]