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the dropkicks: rugby podcast

Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Week Six in Review
Well, that was a week the Dropkicks would rather forget. Despite a first rate podcast and excellent enunciation, the rugby gods saw fit to play Twister with our predictions. Suffice to say that anyone who listens to our predictions from now on is not right int' head. By all means listen to our podcasts, because they are bright, breezy and...er...what's another b-word?...uh, binformative. But if you do choose to base your bets on our predictions, we can accept no responsibility should you lose your car, your house and associated chattels or your marbles.

That being said, we are hardly ever wrong, and last week's incorrect picks were an aberration. (OK, we do seem to be involved in more aberrations than is strictly allowed by the OED definition of "aberration", but if you pretend you never just read this, then everyone is happy.)

Therefore, without any ado, and to get them out of the way as quickly as possible, what we said would happen in the week just been and what did happen:
- We'll start off with an easy one. We predicted the Crusaders would beat the Cats by 13+: totally correct (8 Virtual Rugby points). The Crusaders rested their entire team for the first 55 minutes, with the Cats up against tackle bags. In an indictment of how well the Cats are playing at the moment, it was 12-all at half-time. The Crusaders decided not long after the break that seeing as they were already at the ground, they may as well throw the ball around for 20 or so minutes. So they replaced 7 of the tackle bags with humans and ran out convincing winners 43-15.
- Bad as the Cats are playing at the moment, we would still back them against the Force. The Waratahs, unbeknownst to all but the most learned rugby observer, actually played the game facing the other way. Even running backwards they still managed to win by 32-7, or 13+, which was the margin we picked: totally correct (8 Virtual Rugby points).
- Someone who doesn't like the Dropkicks obviously paid off the South African Television Match Official (TMO) in the next match: the Bulls versus the Hurricanes. We picked the Bulls by 1-12, but in what can only be described as a suicide bid by the TMO, a certain try was ruled out and the Hurricanes sneaked in by 3. We therefore got the game totally incorrect (0 Virtual Rugby points). Big ups for the 'Canes in coming through for the win, however; it wasn't as if the TMO, as well as ruling out the try, called the game off there and then and gave the Hurricanes a few extra points for the hell of it - the Hurricanes actually had to work for the win.
- Blues coach David Nucifora must have found "Rugby for Dummies" whilst browsing at the library on their week off, because something happened to the Blues and they turned up a different team on Saturday. Against the Brumbies they played, god darn it, rugby. We thought the Brumbies would have too much nous and run out winners by 13+. As it was, we were totally incorrect (0 Virtual Rugby points). Why did the Blues have to pick that game to remember that they do have talent and that the core of their team didn't win last year's NPC for nothing?
- The Sharks made the Highlanders cry into their Speights and/or poetry books by winning 26 points to 11 at the "House of Pain". Which is apparently now known as the "House of Champagne" to South Africans. Boom boom. We can handle being wrong with our pick (we had the Highlanders to win by 13+), but the bad pun tipped us over the edge. We joined the Highlanders in crying into our beers. It made it taste all salty. Yech. And no, we don't read poetry. Except ones that start "There once was a man from Nantucket". 0 Virtual Rugby points. Bleeh.
- And finally, the Cheetahs continued the Stormers inglorious home run by knocking them on the head by 31 to 25. We appealed to the great Law of Averages in thinking that the Stormers couldn't possibly keep on losing at home and therefore had them to win by 1-12. 0 Virtual Rugby points. Stupid Law of Averages. It's as if it doesn't exist.
- It was the turn of the Reds and the Chiefs to sit out this week with a bye.

Pick accuracy this week was again 2 out of 6 (or 33%). Grade: E. Bloody terrible. So we won't dwell on it.

Coming up in podcast number 7:

A review of Week 6 of the Super 14

A review of other sport
Six Nations. General Rugby. NRL. We don't like cricket. Oh no. The Australi...Commonwealth Games.

Usual stuff
Wacky Round the World, Athlete of the Week, Dick of the Week.

A preview of Week 7 of the Super 14
- The Hurricanes return home from a reasonably successful safari in Africa to face yet another team from the dark continent. The Sharks were impressive in repressing the Highlanders in Dunedin last week. Can they continue that form and come up with an equally bad pun for the Caketin?
- Will the Blues continue down the road of playing this old-fangled "rugby" lark, or will they revert to their early season form and play whatever it was they were playing back then? Will it be good enough to push the Waratahs, who have only really been tested once this season so far, against the Bulls in Pretoria, where they suffered their one and only loss?
- Why are the Reds even bothering to go to South Africa? Don't they know the Cheetahs will rip them a new one?
- In a showdown of the most boring cities in Australasia, who will be stupefied first: the Brumbies (home advantage) or the Chiefs (possibly the only team who are immune to the "attractions" Canberra has to offer)?
- The Highlanders will be angry after last week, and the Cats will be desperate to get home. Could get messy.
- And can the Force overcome the Bulls at Perth for their first win of the season? A ha. A ha ha ha. A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha heeeeee hooooooooooooo heeee. Oh, that was a good one.

Virtual Super 14 Update
The Dropkicks lived up to the "Drop" part of their names and fell a staggering 23,609 places. Ooomph. We are now 58,166th.

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